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| Dr. Joel Aronowitz |
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Okay, myths about plastic surgery. Is it true or false that you have to take out your implant every 10 years and change it out? Because the FDA said so. True or false? False. False. The FDA does still have that recommendation, but practically nobody follows it. And there's no reason if your implants are not causing you any pain or problems if you're happy with the shape of your breasts, etc., and the size. There's no reason at 10 years, 11 years, 8 years, whatever, to change out the implants. It's probably a good idea to have an MRI at 10 years, but I don't recommend an MRI every year either to tell if your silicone implant is intact. How do you tell if your saline implant leaks? It will deflate. It will deflate. Was that you deflated?”
Bridget: “That was me deflating. You've never seen me deflate because I'm always so upbeat. That looks like when a flower... Wiltz? Wiltz. Wiltz. All right, anyway, number two.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “What's another one?”
Bridget: “Number two. Breast implants cause cancer.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “False. Well, could be true. Could be true because I'm holding up a hint.”
Bridget: “What is the hint?”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “The textured implants can cause a certain cancer. Yeah. Very low, very mild cancer in the sense that there are very, very few fatalities from it. And it's a type of lymphoma from chronic inflammation probably. There've only been a few hundred cases in the entire world and just a handful of deaths that can be attributed to it considering all the millions and millions of women who have breast implants. So breast cancer, the common kind of breast cancer that women and a small number of men get, intraductal cancer or ductal carcinoma, is not associated with having a breast implant of any kind. That's like when you said that fact. It was like when you read the test and I heard it and read it as all implants cause cancer. But you have to be careful on those true and false tests. What's happening over here? I'm just trying to get this shared. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm trying to stay out of your person's face. Anyway, all right. This is why Bridget got into Yale because she knows how to deal with the multiple-choice test.”
Bridget: “Well, this is true and false. Multiple choice is like four options.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “And when it has all the above, always go with all the above. What are the wrong answers called? What is the wrong answer in a multiple choice called? I don't know. The distraction. Oh, and always go with the longest answer. Because the correct answer has to be overqualified. We're digressing. Number three.”
Bridget: “Number three. Botox. Botox. Can botox move after you inject it? Like if I go home and I work out or I hang upside down in my bat cave, I mean, I would move. No, it won't move. I would prefer someone not to hang upside down, like immediately following. But that's only because it might increase the risk of bruising.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Right. What's bruising caused by? Bleeding.”
Bridget: “Yeah”.
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Bleeding when you perforated a small vessel. So if you hold pressure for how many minutes? Seven. Seven, eight minutes. Then a hole in the vessel will steel up and you won't have bruising unless you sneeze or something afterward.”
Bridget: “Okay. That's great. Ready for more myths?”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Are we still going? All right. Here's a myth that I know more than Bridget.”
Bridget: “That's a myth.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Well, well, I need a clarification. What's the topic? Like in the world?”
Bridget: “Probably. True. I'm just going to give it to you because I'm up for my annual review in July.” Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Boy, I think you went by fast. We will see you all later from Aronowitzland while I duke it out with Bridget over raises and that kind of horrible thing. Look how you're sitting.”
Bridget: “That was me deflating. You've never seen me deflate because I'm always so upbeat. That looks like when a flower... Wiltz? Wiltz. Wiltz. All right, anyway, number two.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “What's another one?”
Bridget: “Number two. Breast implants cause cancer.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “False. Well, could be true. Could be true because I'm holding up a hint.”
Bridget: “What is the hint?”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “The textured implants can cause a certain cancer. Yeah. Very low, very mild cancer in the sense that there are very, very few fatalities from it. And it's a type of lymphoma from chronic inflammation probably. There've only been a few hundred cases in the entire world and just a handful of deaths that can be attributed to it considering all the millions and millions of women who have breast implants. So breast cancer, the common kind of breast cancer that women and a small number of men get, intraductal cancer or ductal carcinoma, is not associated with having a breast implant of any kind. That's like when you said that fact. It was like when you read the test and I heard it and read it as all implants cause cancer. But you have to be careful on those true and false tests. What's happening over here? I'm just trying to get this shared. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm trying to stay out of your person's face. Anyway, all right. This is why Bridget got into Yale because she knows how to deal with the multiple-choice test.”
Bridget: “Well, this is true and false. Multiple choice is like four options.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “And when it has all the above, always go with all the above. What are the wrong answers called? What is the wrong answer in a multiple choice called? I don't know. The distraction. Oh, and always go with the longest answer. Because the correct answer has to be overqualified. We're digressing. Number three.”
Bridget: “Number three. Botox. Botox. Can botox move after you inject it? Like if I go home and I work out or I hang upside down in my bat cave, I mean, I would move. No, it won't move. I would prefer someone not to hang upside down, like immediately following. But that's only because it might increase the risk of bruising.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Right. What's bruising caused by? Bleeding.”
Bridget: “Yeah”.
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Bleeding when you perforated a small vessel. So if you hold pressure for how many minutes? Seven. Seven, eight minutes. Then a hole in the vessel will steel up and you won't have bruising unless you sneeze or something afterward.”
Bridget: “Okay. That's great. Ready for more myths?”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Are we still going? All right. Here's a myth that I know more than Bridget.”
Bridget: “That's a myth.”
Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Well, well, I need a clarification. What's the topic? Like in the world?”
Bridget: “Probably. True. I'm just going to give it to you because I'm up for my annual review in July.” Dr. Joel Aronowitz: “Boy, I think you went by fast. We will see you all later from Aronowitzland while I duke it out with Bridget over raises and that kind of horrible thing. Look how you're sitting.”
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